Types of Sexual Trauma
Dennis Gilbert Garcia
“It took a long time for me to look at the child I was and say to him, 'It's ok, you've got me now,' and just focus on learning to be a whole person again.”
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José Antonio Rodríguez’s story
The Bristlecone Project · Shame
This conversation discusses sexual abuse. Watch at your own pace.
A story, in his own words.
“Disclosure seems like a vulnerability you can't afford, but to speak is to give it a new presence. When it only lives inside you, sometimes you're not even sure if it's real, and for me, to speak about it and to write it is to make it real.”
Immigrating, Bullying, & Sexual Molestation by Cousin
José Antonio Rodríguez’s written story
José, the youngest of ten children, came to the U.S. at age five with his family from Mexico. Though his parents were dedicated and dutiful, they were also traumatized individuals hindered by the stressors of severe poverty. José’s home life then was marred by emotional and physical neglect. At school, he also suffered years of relentless bullying.
Therefore, when his older cousin coaxed him one day into a back room of his house and molested him, it had a profound effect. Nine years old, vulnerable, and threatened into complying with his cousin’s demands, José left that room burdened by long-lasting shame and guilt. Unable to find comfort in the adults around him, he found refuge in the school classroom and the gold-star stickers he earned for excelling, all while suppressing an inner voice that called him unworthy of love.
In his early twenties, struggling with accepting himself as gay and haunted by the past, José found his way to psychotherapy. Gradually, after years, he came to understand the significance and ramifications of his formative childhood experiences, including those terrible moments in the backroom. What began as journal writing, assigned as homework by his first therapist, evolved into a rekindled interest in literature and storytelling. After many years of struggling to find his place in the world, José found his calling as a writer and professor. Born into abject poverty and wounded by sexual molestation and neglect, he now holds a Ph.D. in English, he teaches creative writing, and he is a published author of both prose and poetry.
His books, including his memoir House Built on Ashes, have allowed him to transform trauma and experience into something of beauty that he relishes sharing with readers.
Though sometimes the wounds of the past still need tending to, he remains hopeful and committed to this life-long project of healing and writing.
“I write not just for me but for those who wanted to and couldn’t. My stories are theirs, too.”
Review José's poem published in The New Yorker inspired by lived experience, "Men's Sexual-Trauma Support Group."
You don’t have to carry it alone
Support, when you’re ready.
Find a support group, explore common questions, or connect with someone who can help.
More voices. More ways forward.
Self-blame
Rees Mann
“When I told my kids, that was a major thing.”
Grooming
Anthony Edwards
“I used acting for many years as a survival technique.”