Types of Sexual Trauma
Dennis Gilbert Garcia
“It took a long time for me to look at the child I was and say to him, 'It's ok, you've got me now,' and just focus on learning to be a whole person again.”
The Bristlecone Project · Disclosure
This conversation discusses sexual abuse. Watch at your own pace.
“I'm a huge believer and that the only way to beat childhood sexual abuse is to break the silence. And I don't mean just a little bit of breaking the silence, I mean smashing the silence. And the only way for me to do that is to put my face, my name, my whole self out there.”
How do you recover from years of sadistic abuse at the hands of your own brother, and at the hands of a pedophile deliberately recruited by your own brother? For Scott Thompson, the answer lies in a profound, bone marrow-deep commitment to the healing process, including years of work at Ottawa’s Men’s Project. It also lies in taking power back from his abusers, a process that included reporting them to the police. In court, the pedophile admitted his crimes. It also lies in restoring his own voice, by speaking out publicly on behalf of himself and fellow survivors.
And it also lies in what might appear to be a paradox: forgiveness. For Scott, forgiveness means relinquishing his anger and hatred. In letting it go, Scott has freed himself, not his abusers.
The abuse that Scott suffered left many scars. He spent his childhood in a desperate search for safety. He found safety in “invisibility,” consciously camouflaging himself so that no one would notice him. Blessedly, Scott also found safety with his grandmother, a grandmother who somehow knew what he needed, who allowed Scott to spend hours curled up beside her in bed.
The abuse left the adult Scott with a cauldron of anger to manage, anger that he often could not manage. His anger ruptured his relationships with his children, and with his father. Those relationships – the reconciliation and healing of those relationships – are now the focus of Scott’s life. He has spent hours talking with his father, caring for him, tending to the bonds that were sundered by the actions of his abusers. Having restored his power and his voice, Scott is now restoring those fundamental connections that make us human.
You don’t have to carry it alone
Find a support group, explore common questions, or connect with someone who can help.
Types of Sexual Trauma
“It took a long time for me to look at the child I was and say to him, 'It's ok, you've got me now,' and just focus on learning to be a whole person again.”
Self-blame
“When I told my kids, that was a major thing.”
Grooming
“I used acting for many years as a survival technique.”