When Dan was well on the path toward healing, and had discovered 1in6 and the Bristlecone Project, he decided to make a pilgrimage to the Bristlecone grove in California’s Sierra mountains. “There were these crazy, twisted trees, in a really harsh environment. And they’re beautiful.” He thought, “maybe I’m not disfigured.”
Dan’s path started in chaos, neglect, and abuse. His parents divorced when he was five years old, and Dan’s mother took custody of him and his two siblings. For the next five years, the broken family moved constantly. Dan attended at least six elementary schools. When he was six, he was sexually abused by a babysitter. When he was 15, he was sexually abused by a family member, abuse that he endured until he was 18, and left town for college.
Dan’s childhood left him with multiple scars. As the oldest child, he felt responsible for the whole family, and often felt helpless, and that he was failing them. He endured the sexual abuse because he was afraid that if he disclosed his family would once again be plunged into poverty and chaos. The sexual abuse left him confused about his sexuality, and he deeply internalized the guilt and shame that should have rested on the shoulders of his perpetrators.
To numb himself, Dan turned to drink. As a teenager, he drank only occasionally, but when he did, it was in a binge. Eventually, the drinking became more habitual.
When Dan finally sought help, his first forays into therapy were far from optimal. But he persevered, and eventually, he launched himself on a path of genuine healing. Slowly, Dan has consciously re-calibrated his view of himself. Like the Bristlecone trees in the Sierras, Dan has endured a harsh environment. And he has not only survived; he has lived a life of integrity. He put himself through law school. He provides for his family. And most crucially, “I’m a dad. I’ve got three kids, and I’m there for them.”
“There were these crazy, twisted trees, in a really harsh environment. And they’re beautiful.” He thought, “maybe I’m not disfigured.”
