If you need personal help right this minute, free and confidential support is available 24/7 from:

• The national chat-based helpline for men who were sexually abused or assaulted
• The national telephone hotline for all survivors of sexual assault at 800-656-HOPE (4673).

Both services have trained staff who know (1) the effects of male sexual abuse and assault and (2) available services. All chats and calls are confidential, and callers/hotline users are encouraged to remain anonymous.

If you have a few moments to read something, and think reading could help you collect your thoughts and calm down…

We’re sorry that you’re having a rough time right now.

At the same time, we want to say: Even at a time like this, there are good reasons for having hope – that you can get through it, and that life can get much better for you.

Please know that many other men have been in situations like the one you’re in now, and later they’ve been able to look back and realize it was an opportunity—the beginning of things getting better (We know, this may sound totally impossible right now, even annoying or disrespectful of your experience. But still…). Those men, for a variety of reasons, have been able to take a crisis and turn it into a critical first step in dealing with experiences that had previously been causing them problems. When you’re ready, view men’s stories to learn about the various ways through which men have been able to overcome experiences of sexual abuse or assault.

Reaching Out

Whatever your situation, we do suggest that—at some point—you get some input from another person who has enough knowledge and experience to help you sort through your priorities and options.

• It might only be one online chat, one call to a hotline or helpline, one brief exchange on a web messaging board, or one meeting with a therapist or counselor (with no obligation for a second).
• You don’t have to say anything you don’t feel comfortable saying, or reveal anything you don’t feel comfortable revealing.
• The idea is simple but powerful: Reach out to a real person, someone who may be able to help you sort through your own options and make some good decisions.
• If you try and the first person isn’t helpful, don’t give up. Try again, when you’re ready and after doing a little more research.

Finally, we recommend that you pace yourself, take what works for you, and leave the rest.